The love affair is over!

The love affair is over. And it was a very painful ending.

Yesterday afternoon I was on my way to do some shopping, then up to visit Kaleb and Kristi in the hospital. Kaleb had told me he would like a 'Webkins' snake (for those of you who have question marks over their heads right now, a Webkin is just a Beany Baby that a kid can go online and 'make up' a whole life for the creature. Enough with the imagination in your own head, it has to be on the World Wide Web before it is official now!) Anyway, I called several different stores in town looking for a Tiger Snake (Kristi found the correct name for it and passed it on). Mardell's carries Webkins and when I asked for a snake I think the whole Adam and Eve thing in the garden was taking place in the poor clerks mind...she said 'I have tree frogs and kitties and puppies but NO snakes. We don't carry them.' I'm sure she added a mental 'Silly!' to her statement.

So I called five other places that were more uhhh...carnal. None had them. Finally I chose a store in Utica Square as a last resort. I figured if it came from Utica Square it had to be pricey...but it was for a grandson. Maybe the budget could handle it. They had the Tiger Snake! AND (cue heavenly music) IT WAS ON SALE! I asked them to save me one, although they insisted they had, like, 50 snakes...and rushed to capture the slippery thing before it got away.

I was so impressed with the stores' Webkins that I bought 4 more for other grandkids...and for those of you who are figuring in their heads how many grandkids get one...2 of them will get something else because they aren't allowed on the computer yet...yeah, I do try to keep things equal.

I was feeling great about the sale price and the amount of gifts I had just bought and went to Starbucks to get Kris a Skinny Vanilla Latte and me a Skinny Mocha Latte. Decided it was a celebration so I would get the largest cups (Venti's). I ordered Kristi's with no problem, then when it came to mine I requested Soy milk instead of regular milk. (As most of my friends and all of my family knows, I am EXTREMELY lactose intolerant.) The lady said she couldn't do that. I asked why and she said that she couldn't make a Skinny (sugar free) Mocha with Soy. I said, 'So, you make it with sugar free mocha and skim milk normally, right?' She answered yes. 'So could you just trade the skim milk out with soy milk?' I really had my nice voice on too. She sorta looked shocked and said, 'Oh! Yes, that can be done!'

After paying for the latte's I stood in the waiting area while they made it and overheard the person making the latte's ask why there was an '8' on the instructions...the lady that took my order replied 'It's not an 8 it is an 'S'' Good for her! The barrista (I think that is what they call the person who makes the coffee drinks although mine was a guy so maybe it is barrister. But they also call an extra large drink 'venti' so who knows?) shrugged and made the drinks and I proceeded on my way with 2 lattes and a Tiger Snake.

Stopped by and got Kaleb a frosty and fries and finally made it to the hospital with all the stuff.

To make a long story short, let's just say I got the 'Best Mema Ever' award from Kaleb and had a great time drinking my latte with Kristi and playing Webkins and Spiderman with Kaleb. After a couple of hours I had to get home to take care of Pete (who had foot surgery and is limited on the amount of walking he can do).

While I was fixing dinner for Pete, my stomach decided it really didn't want any...and promptly doubled me over with pain. Oh it was a very familiar pain. One I associate with chocolate shakes and ice cream and milk! 'Starbucks! Starbucks! What did I ever do to you but broaden your Lattes! and pay you lots of money?!?!' I had been poisoned with milk!

After about 3 1/2 hours of extreme discomfort, I mentioned my theory of the milk laced latte to Pete, whom I had waited on hand and foot (pun intended) for the last 3 weeks. He replied with a cocky grin, ' That's why I only drink Pure Coffee. No additives or fancy names.' It is true. He only orders plain coffee. But he made it sound like he was going 'green' and saving the polar ice caps by drinking the 'pure' stuff and that I was silly enough to fall for the selfish fancy stuff and cause global warming. I would have inflicted pain on him if I could have moved.

The whole incident had 'passed' by bedtime and I was able to sleep off the rest of the effects of lactose intolerance. But I am scarred for life. Just the thought of a latte makes my stomach react with violence. So, Starbucks, it is over. No more fancy lattes with mocha, vanilla or caramel. No more talls, grandes or ventis. No more 'without whip' iced anything. You have broken my heart and wounded my intestines. I will from now on go and save the polar ice caps and have only Pure Coffee with my cocky husband. *sniff*