Thursday, July 21, 2011

‎July ‎21, ‎2011

Have you ever felt that what you are experiencing is totally yours, and yours, alone? That no one else in the world has ever been through what you are going through or gone through what you have gone through? Yeah, me too. But I am finding that if I open up and share with others, people come out of the woodwork with "Me too!" or "Yeah, I'm dealing with that same issue." Some give advice, others listen with an empathetic ear (I love those!), but it is truly amazing how small the world is in the 'hurting' area. Now don't get me wrong, I understand that circumstances really are different for everyone, and our personalities and how we approach and deal with situations differ greatly, but overall there really is nothing new on earth. And there are a lot of people hurting in silence because of satan's lie: You are the only one. You are alone in this and no one will want to hear your terrible story. Nothing could be further from the truth (he IS the father of lies after all!).

Now for the hard part (yeah, you just thought hurting was hard). Finding someone trusted to share your journey is...well...hard! Especially if you are ready to recover and get beyond the pain. Sure, there are people willing to listen and talk the problem to death, but help you move on? Not so much. Finding a true, confidential, friend that will not blab your problem to others or beat you over the head with it or add to it with all kinds of 'what ifs' and 'I know someone worse off because of a problem just like this', is like finding a needle in a hay field! At least that's what it feels like. There are some rare jewels out there, keep looking. But what to do right now?

Counseling. No I'm not speaking of paying the big bucks to someone who has a degree on their wall, although that is an option that is open and needed sometimes. I am talking of the Counselor that lives within us, and listening to His quite voice as He brings your problems before the Father of the universe. He knows your mind better that you do, and the really good thing is that He also knows the mind of the one who made you. So let Him talk. Listen in to what He says. Quiet your spirit and let the Spirit quiet you. He is the most confidential one that you will ever meet, and the wisest. All He requires is a willing spirit and for us to take the time to let Him change us.

Our Father has plans to bless us, not harm us, and He feels our pain deeply. Believe it. Remember it. Let Him take it, time and time again and don't give up until you have left it with him for good! Yes, others will understand your hurts and will have similar experiences to share. They may even be able to intercede with you to God and truly help because of their empathy. But honestly, the only true healer of our pain will be the one who made us. Take the time to tell Him. Then take some more time to listen, meditate and know that the Counselor is counseling.

If we paid an earthly counselor for a one hour session twice a week to get better, imagine what spending the same amount of time with God would do. That would only be about 15 minutes a day. Try it! And trust me when I say, it will be time well spent with a great friend who understands and can help.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

‎July ‎19, ‎2011

Today is July 19. There is nothing special about this day except I am writing. I truly have a desire to write, just always find other things to think about or do beside writing. There are times the thoughts come to me quickly, easily like someone or something is pouring them into my mind and then there are times I feel like I can't think a coherent thought for the life of me! Either way, I still have that desire to put down something. So today, I am writing. Following my heart or mind, whichever is in control of the writing process, and see where it may lead. I have given myself 15 minutes to put something on paper...err....screen and time is ticking.

I love my God. I love my life in Him. I love my sweet husband, Peter. These thoughts bring tears to my eyes. Why should I cry over love? Why are my emotions so deep that even slight whispers of a thought of my Lord brings a smile, and a picture of my Pete comes so easily to my mind followed by a wish to spend more and more time with him. My life, as broken and crazy as it is, is sweet with love.

There IS one love that saddens me. How little my love of other broken people is. I truly have a desire to reach others with comfort and encouragement, but fall so short when the time comes. I face many a person with a blank stare, either because I can't remember their name, or remember their circumstance, or haven't met them before and am afraid to. Fear. There's the word. I don't fear my husband, or my God as far as worrying about making a fool of myself in front of them. They already know how silly I am! But other people? I really don't trust myself to them. Not that I think they will do something bad, that's not it at all. It's that I will do something or say something that will make THEIR life worse. I do NOT want to add hurt to other people. We live in a world of hurt. But by not pushing through my fear and trying anyway, I can't encourage, comfort or love either.

So there it is. A big wall of fear. And how many times has my Lord, the one I love so much, how many times has he told me not to fear? Perfect love casts out fear, for heaven's sake! And I have seen how love casts out fear by living with my hubby...and our love is great, awesome, wonderful!...but not perfect. So to end today's writing, for my timer has gone off, my plan, my prayer, is to cast off the insecure fear of hurting others, throw off the burden of looking and acting perfect, and climb into God's perfect love, learn from my loving husband, and love others anyway. There! More to come later, I'm sure....‎