Please Do Disturb

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me." Psalm 139:1

Sunday morning during Bible class, one of our elders (Ron), brought up the idea that God reaches into our sleeping minds and wakes us to commune with Him in some way...through prayer, study, meditation, or just listening for Him. I have had this experience many times and discussed it with others who agreed that God works in our sleep, but when Ron said it this time it struck me as very personal...I mean my sleep is sacred (just ask any of my kids who have experienced waking me, for whatever reason...I can be...grumpy!) but God, the creator of the universe waking me up?? Me be grumpy?? At first yes. It took me several months to let go of my (assumed) need for sleep but when I finally gave in, I was able to listen to the scripture or thought He brought to mind and was amazed to find my thoughts so alive and coherent in the middle of the night. Or a person I really needed to talk to God about popping into mind and really being able to bring them before the throne of God. How dare I to be grumpy...amazed, privileged, humbled, valued...yes, God does change people, even in the middle of the night. Please realize how valued you are in God's sight! "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalms 139: 14...We are the works that David speaks of being wonderful...how blessed we are when we know how the Father views us!
Thank you Father, for letting me know how valued I am in your sight! That you want to speak to me. And that you are God over all my being whether asleep or awake.

Give Thanks

"God doesn't expect us to be thankful FOR all things, but He does expect us to be thankful IN all things." (Joyce Meyers)

Thanksgiving is tomorrow...currently our family (church) is experiencing great sadness at the loss of a father and a mother, and the decline of a husband, but great joy at the healing of a friend. The force of emotion from extreme to extreme is painful, confusing, and quite unwelcome. It is truly easy to rejoice when God moves the way I want...and thankfulness follows, sometimes overflowing to the point ridiculous. But when He, in His wisdom, goes against what I would will for a person, one of the last things I want to do is get on my knees in thankfulness...but I am learning. In thanks, I learned this week to say "I love you" more often and really mean it because (temporary) separation through death could come at any moment. I have learned to be thankful for the moment, not looking to the future, not focusing on the past, but what moment I am in with whoever I am with...for that moment will not happen again. I am thankful for words and actions that bring life into situations that are full of death...The power of saying "I am here" "I love you" "I am praying for you", and the simple power of a hug, a kiss, a tear. "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire....Test everything. Hold on to the good." I Thess. 5:16-21. Satan would like us to read into the scriptures that it is God's will for us to be thankful for anything and everything that happens to us...that is impossible while we are in these bodies. Circumstances hurt, leave scars, change our lives forever. God truly loves us and understands pain and change. And his will for us is only good, thus he has given us Jesus so that we CAN give thanks in all circumstances, not for the circumstance itself but for the overcoming power of Christ in that circumstance. Jesus changes death to life, takes the hurt and covers it with peace and allows our scars to become our trophies testifying to His unfailing love. So for Jesus, His power and love in us, we can always be thankful....Whatever the circumstance.
Dear Father, Cover us with your grace and mercy and thank you for giving us an object of thanks in your only son, Jesus, who gave up everything for us, that we could live in abundance in Him.

Much Ado About Little or Nothing

Well, today marks the beginning of something I have tried many times and quite frankly failed at every time....journaling. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of writing out events and feelings and being able to see growth (or lack thereof) in life. It's just that life seems to overtake the time I have and writing down anything beyond a grocery list is tedious, time consuming, and scary. What if I don't like what I see my life becoming in 1 or 2 years of journaling? What if I have no growth or develop no wisdom? What if people don't like what I write or think I am such a silly goose....what if ....I succeed? And actually DO see something in myself that only time spent searching for words to write could bring out? (darn optimism! I was enjoying the pity party..) So, as I begin I will warn any who venture here that this may also be an ending...but I will vow to try one more time to journal often and try to keep my thoughts coherent. The brain in a blender title is oh so descriptive of my thought process and what splatters onto this screen may not be so pretty but (hopefully) it will be somewhat insightful.
God please bless this effort with your strength and wisdom. Show your power and glory in whatever words are written. I love you! Amen.