Friday, September 02, 2011

I am Healed !!

Yesterday was great…and horrible. I started the day feeling truly wonderful for the first time since my back surgery. I went through my morning praising God for His healing and enjoying driving solo for the first time in 4 1/2 weeks. I didn’t go far. I didn’t ‘over-do’. At least I tried not to, but by afternoon the wonderful morning turned ugly and pain and fatigue overcame me. As I lay in bed wondering why, what the timeline for healing was, God when will I be normal again? I felt the mental and spiritual nudge to let it go. Leave it with God. So I did. But my prayer as I fell asleep that night was for God to heal me, (quickly!) so I could do whatever His will was for my life. I wasn’t getting any younger, after all, and if I were going to be of benefit to Him, I really needed to get on with this healing process.

Well, He answered my prayer this morning from three different readings.

The first is a daily Bible passage I start with just for meditation. Today’s was: Psalm 119:64 “O Lord, your unfailing love fills the earth; teach me your decrees.” Oh as I meditated on His unfailing love filling the earth to fullness, my desire for obedience grew with it! A God who loves His creation has only good in mind for His created. Obeying Him…oh yes! That is what I want to do! Show me your will so that I can follow and obey!

I know…doesn’t sound like much of an answer for healing….but just wait. There’s more.

My second reading started discussing how we can’t live apart from Jesus. “Oh,” my soul thought, “I truly can’t! Draw me closer to you Lord!” Sharon Jaymes’ devotional went on to discuss our confidence in God. I was pleading for that confidence in His will by this point!

Then it happened! His answer to my prayer for healing and doing His will in my life!

Get ready for this!

Sharon paraphrased 2 Corinthians 12:7-10:

I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
'My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.'
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now that I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size-abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Ummm….yeah….I may have put exclamation point at my statement above about my healing and doing His will, but honestly after reading this I was a bit miffed. Ok, God loves me through and through, inside and out, and I am willing to obey. Totally. I can’t live apart from Him and my confidence in Him is deep. Not perfect, but deep. But that whole living in weakness part? That is an answer to healing? And how can I do what God wants me to from flat on my back? Really, Lord? My emotional agreement with the Father took a nosedive.

But I have one more reading every morning, and my answer to healing was very, very clear.

Sarah Young’s devotional, Jesus Calling (I would highly recommend this to everyone!), is my last reading before I get up and going. Today’s short, intimate conversation from Jesus said,

“When you depend on Me continually, your whole perspective changes. You see miracles happening all around, while others see only natural occurrences and “coincidences.” You begin each day with joyful expectation, watching to see what I will do. You accept weakness as a gift from Me, knowing that My Power plugs in most readily to consecrated weakness. You keep your plans tentative, knowing that My plans are far superior. You consciously live, move, and have your being in Me, desiring that I live in you. I in you, and you in Me. This is the intimate adventure I offer you.”*

There it is. No falling on the floor and rising with full healing in my back and no pain. No great fanfare. Just a message from God!!!! Did you get that? The Creator of the universe spoke to ME! I am crying as I write this because I am so humbled that He would answer my prayer so completely and directly! I AM healed! My back still hurts? Yes. Walking is difficult? Yes. But God healed me where I needed healing – my spirit. I am in Christ and He is in me! My weakness becomes the very tool of His will in my life that can defeat satan! My plans are not His plans, but His plans are perfect and I want perfect plans. I have a Divine connection to eternity with this back problem and God will use it to His glory! As obstinate as I am, I cannot and will not call these separate readings “coincidences”. They are the answer to my prayer for healing. It is my choice to accept that answer and give Him praise…or not.

Praise God for my healing!!

*Young, Sarah (2004-10-12). Jesus Calling: Seeking Peace in His Presence (p. 257). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

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