Another month gone. 2010 promises to go by faster than the years before. Each one seems like this. Time flies past! I see the years on my parents faces. I feel the years in my own body. My kids should be my grandkids age in my mind, and occasionally that shows up by me calling my grandkids by my kids names!
My daughter has taken my place as a mother. I have taken up my mother's place as grandma, and my mom has taken my grandmother's place as great-grandma. Life, in it's vapor-like passing disappears like the days on my calendar.
Yet there is a peace in time passing.
Patience is grown not in minutes but in years. As is wisdom. Both provide a solid peace in my life that I didn't have as a younger, less wise and patient person.
I find joy in the oddest places now, too. When I feel stressed, lonely, or hurt there is a deep, deep joy in God that I can choose to tap into, and like a deep, calm lake in the mountains, it is beautiful and serene.
Hope and faith, though, are working overtime on me. I still find myself wishing I were younger, wishing I had more time. But when I remember to lay aside my 'wishes' and lean on my faith in my Saviour, God comes blowing into my soul with the gentle breeze of Hope. The Hope of an eternity with Him in an unseen world where 'time', 'growing old', and 'dying' are words with no meaning.
Psalm 119:33-40 (The Message)
God, teach me lessons for living
so I can stay the course.
Give me insight so I can do what you tell me—
my whole life one long, obedient response.
Guide me down the road of your commandments;
I love traveling this freeway!
Give me a bent for your words of wisdom,
and not for piling up loot.
Divert my eyes from toys and trinkets,
invigorate me on the pilgrim way.
Affirm your promises to me—
promises made to all who fear you.
Deflect the harsh words of my critics—
but what you say is always so good.
See how hungry I am for your counsel;
preserve my life through your righteous ways!
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